7. June 2026
How to Help Yourself With Medical Trauma Through an Attachment Lens
We think of medical trauma as an accident, sudden illness, or scary procedure. That is true, but we don’t talk about two things that are keys to our ability to seek, benefit from, and get care.
1. Chronic illness, caregiving, and poor access to proper care causes a complex trauma that builds on itself. Causes may include:
- medical gaslighting
- accessing care
- accessing insurance and medication
- ongoing testing and waiting
- managing symptoms
- decision fatigue
- side effects
- social stigmas
- financial impacts
This is a marathon, not a sprint, and it can grind away at our sense of safety and agency.
2. Before and underneath all of this is attachment trauma. Forty percent of adults have insecure attachment. Insecure attachment is both nature and nurture, and it is formed in infancy.
Attachment trauma feels like life or death when triggered. It is very difficult to find regulation when triggered because it happens unconsciously and is a very primal response.
It can also can also be caused by poor relationships in adulthood.
Here’s the thing therapists haven’t been taught:
Accessing the medical system IS a relationship. When we are injured by this relationship, our health outcomes suffer.
Ratings of anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment were positively associated with chronic back or neck problems, frequent or severe headaches, other forms of chronic pain, stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, and ulcers.
Insecure attachment style is associated with chronic widespread pain. Insecurely attached patients with pain symptoms only benefit from a multimodal pain therapy in limited ways regarding post-treatment trajectories.
We must learn to recognize that as infants (when attachment styles are formed), if we were dismissed, ignored, or hurt this could be life or death. We must learn to see our attachment responses when we access the medical system. Are we frozen, afraid to speak up, sure that we won’t be heard? We have to remember that we are not infants, and learn to access the adult parts of ourselves when our system has become overwhelmed.
When we can see what is happening, we can take back our agency. We can then take steps to access and receive the care we need.
If you would like to learn more about helping yourself out of your attachment threat response, so the medical system feels, at best supportive, at worst annoying, this course can help. It is made for therapists, but very accessible to anyone. You do not need to be my client to take it.
You can find it HERE.
Please note that the course content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you see here.